The Southern Raiders
by jalpari
Summary: 100 AG - Zuko finally confronts Katara about her hostility and realizes that it runs much deeper than simple hate. He vows to do anything he can to reach the root of the problem and eliminate it. Set in the 'Southern Raiders' episode. I fill the gaps in the original events while staying true to the canon.


The Southern Raiders

by jalpari

* * *

A/N: {This is part one in my series of Zutara through the years}

My Zutara one shots are canon compliant and will lead to all the implied history and emotions in my first two Zutara one shots - Until we meet again and Long after you're gone - where I give them the happy ending I think they deserve.

For anyone who needs a break from the angst, I recommend reading 'Autumn magic'. It's canon compliant Zutara fluff!

P. S. This entire series of one shots where I work towards a happier Zutara ending is reflected in a fan edit I recently discovered! How cool is that!

_www dot youtube dot com/watch?v=qB5c0ZCUxdc_

* * *

Katara woke up with a frown on her face. She hadn't slept all night; something that was becoming more and more common ever since Zuko had joined them. With every passing day, she could feel a rage build up inside her. And she hated feeling that way. Their conversation the previous night, more like fight, kept replaying in her head.

_I'm not being fair? How dare he!? I have every right to never forgive him or trust him!_

She finally gave a grunt and pushed her sleeping bag aside. As she stepped out of her tent, she startled at the sight of Zuko sitting in front of it. Zuko looked up to see a frowning Katara with her arms crossed in front of her chest. He hadn't been able to sleep all night after his talk with Sokka. He had resisted the urge to barge into Katara's tent and wake her up then and there to share his idea. Her words kept replaying in his mind as he waited outside her tent.

_I was the first person to trust you. And you turned around and betrayed me. Betrayed all of us._

Somehow his mind kept fixating on how her face contorted with pain when she said those words.

_You betrayed me._

_Could that be it? Had she also felt the connection I felt when we were opening up to each other in Ba Sing Se? No, don't be an idiot. She meant 'betrayed us'. I betrayed them all. Her hatred for me is fair._

He hung his head in shame.

"You look terrible."

"I waited out here all night." Zuko followed her rubbing his eyes.

"What do you want?"

She turned her back to him, cursing him for agitating her first thing in the morning. But his next words, stopped her heart.

"I know who killed your mother...and I'm going to help you find him."

* * *

Zuko sat in the saddle watching Katara at the reins. He had never seen her look so determined, angry and formidable. When they reached the Fire Navy communication tower, he was surprised at how stealthy she was, almost as good as him. He took a subtle pleasure in how well they worked as a team. As he jumped onto the ice slab that carried them on a wave all the way up to the tower, he couldn't help but watch her in awe.

_How can someone be as graceful as she was when bending her element, and then turn into a raging terrifying force like she was now._

He watched her discreetly. The only thing exposed were her eyes, which hadn't lost the raging fire in them since they left their camp. He couldn't help but think of how wrong he had been about her and her element. He thought back to all the times he had faced her when he hunted the Avatar. And it became clear as day.

_She has the power of a waterbender and the spirit of a firebender._

"Whale Tail island, here we come." She muttered after they found the map.

As they resumed their journey on Appa, he began worrying about her. She had sat at the reins non stop, her body stiff as a rod, her eyes fixed at some unknown point, seen only by her, in the distance. She rejected his offer to take over for the rest of the journey.

"I'm not the helpless little girl I was when they came."

He was surprised when she went on to share what happened on the fateful day of the raid. Sokka had not seen the events unfold, but Katara had.

"We were too late...when we got there...the man was gone", she hunched over shrinking into herself, "and so was she."

Something in her voice made him want to take her in his arms and erase all her memory of the fateful day. Another part of him knew better.

"Your mother was a brave woman", was all he could offer.

They rode in silence the rest of the journey. Zuko's mind jumped between their mission and their time in Ba Sing Se. Somehow, despite the friction and unpleasantness, it had always been easy to open up to her. He didn't mind being vulnerable. And it ached his heart to see that that side of her was lost to him now, probably forever. She would never let him get that close to her again. He had lost a potential friend, a trustworthy ally and maybe something more.

It was a welcome surprise when she agreed to rest for a short time as they approached the ship. But he realized she had probably not been asleep at all when she shot up straight as soon as he announced their arrival.

"Let's do this."

She guided them underwater on Appa and created a bubble around them. Much to his astonishment, as much as he felt uncomfortable in water, he felt safe with her leading them into it. What happened over the next few minutes, was remarkable. If it had been a training exercise, he would have fallen in love with her abilities as a bender. Their elements were in perfect balance.

And then, he witnessed something he had never expected. The commander's body froze, then twisted, then flailed about and then collapsed to the ground. Zuko watched in stunned silence as Katara's hand moved in a gentle, almost peaceful, yet cold manner; her eyes now an emotionless ocean of void. The sight of her eyes swirled a storm in his heart and a desire to end the man's life himself. But he controlled his anger. This was her fight.

"You look her in the eye and you tell me you don't remember what you did!" He spat out.

"It's not him", a feeble voice spoke. "He's not the man."

Katara turned around and left the cabin without another word, but Zuko wasn't going to give up. He yelled at the man, forcing him to give them another lead.

"You must be looking for Yon Rha! He retired 4 years ago."

* * *

If Katara had her way, they would have flown all night. It took all his patience to coax her into taking a small break. She gave in only because he mentioned Appa. It was raining but thankfully Zuko found an enclosed shelter in a cave.

They both sat in silence, leaning back on Appa and staring at the small fire Zuko had started.

"It's called bloodbending", Katara spoke suddenly, still gazing into the flames.

Zuko turned and saw the flame reflected in her blue eyes. It seemed perfect. The way fire shone in her ocean eyes. Her words sent a shudder down his spine and he waited for more. After several seconds, Katara turned to meet his gaze.

"You must think I'm a monster."

"Why would I think that?"

"Because I can reach into a person's body. I can snatch away their free will. I can end their life in a fraction of a second if I gave into this...this horrible power." Katara's voice began shaking as she looked at her hands with disgust.

Zuko moved closer to her and with a deep breath gave the diminishing fire more fuel.

"Fire can be one of the most destructive elements, if the bender loses control. And lightning...lightning can destroy everything if we give into its horrible power", Zuko took a deep breath. "When lightning courses through my body, I feel a thrill like nothing else. It makes me feel indomitable. In that moment, I hold unimaginable power in my body, and if I give in, I could take away someone's life in the blink of an eye."

This was yet another thing they both shared. Katara looked at him, her face filled with pain.

"She was a bitter and angry woman", Katara gritted her teeth. "And she taught me this skill before I even knew who she really was, and what this thing was. Without even realizing it, I had become a...a bloodbender. I swore to myself I would never use it."

Tears filled her eyes and her entire body shook. He couldn't tell if it was the coldness in the air or the coldness in her heart that made her shiver. Before he knew what he was doing, he took her hand in his own ever so lightly and ran his thumb over the back of her palm.

Katara froze and he prepared for her to pull any second and possibly even yell or attack him. But she didn't.

"They looked at me with fear the first time I did it. But I only did it to save them from hurting each other and stop her. I did just enough to freeze her so she could be arrested. I...I had no choice."

He took a chance and held her hand more firmly. Neither of them looked at each other.

"And since then, no one has mentioned it. We never spoke of it again. I couldn't...let it all out. The rage, the disgust, the guilt...the fear. I'm…", he could see her breath becoming shallower by the second, "I am scared of it...scared of myself."

"Katara…", Zuko blurted. But nothing else came out. He pulled her hand towards his chest, enclosing it with both his hands, and turned his body in her direction.

"Whether you like it or not", he finally found his voice when she looked at him half in surprise and half in hope, "this is a part of who you are now. Just like all my past mistakes and actions are a part of me."

She steeled her face, almost angry again, expecting another speech to convince her to forgive him but he didn't do that.

"Don't get me wrong. I'm not asking for your forgiveness right now. All I'm saying is that", he hesitated, "you are so much more than just this one thing. You have much more good in you than bad. And honestly, this isn't even bad. It's just...another part of you like your necklace, or your eyes, or your soft hair…"

Zuko froze as his mind caught up with his mouth and he immediately dropped her hand and ran his hand through his hair.

"I mean...I didn't mean it like….all I wanted to say…"

He heard a soft giggle and found an amused expression on her face. But it vanished almost as suddenly as it had arrived. Her eyes had a sad thoughtful expression. She leaned back on Appa, still looking at him.

"I don't understand you, Zuko."

He sighed and leaned back next to her.

"I don't understand myself either."

"And that's why...I find it hard to trust you."

"I understand why you hate me, Katara."

"I...I don't _hate_ you."

He turned his head and was about to say something when he realized he could feel her warm breath. Katara felt how close they were too, she could the warmth radiating from his body.

"I was disappointed at first...then angry...and now I'm just...unsure."

Zuko felt a tinge of joy when she said she didn't hate him. Maybe there was hope after all.

"I won't stop until you trust me, again. I won't let you down...like I did in Ba Sing Se."

It was the first time he had brought up the incident. Katara smiled at his words but she convinced herself that she was imagining the affection and sincerity of his tone.

"I'm prepared for the worst Zuko. I won't hesitate to water whip you all the way to the South Pole if I have to."

"I don't doubt that", Zuko chuckled.

* * *

They arrived at Yon Rha's home in the morning. The rain hadn't let up. They followed the old man from his home to the market. They prepared a simple trap to catch him off guard as he made his way back. Katara's rage crashed down on him as she demanded him to look at her. To recognize her. To remember what he did.

"Yes, yes. I remember you now. You're the little Water Tribe girl. Your mother was the last waterbender in the southern tribe."

"She lied to you! She was protecting the last waterbender."

"What? Who?"

"ME!" Katara's roar was filled with a storm more dangerous than any he had encountered during his time at sea.

Zuko was taken aback as she took a stance and all the rain around them stilled. It was like time was frozen. And they were stuck inside it. She cloaked them by forming a water dome all around them. The wild rain was no match for her rage. He held his breath as she paused and stared ruthlessly at the man that lay on the ground.

Then, with one swift motion of her arms, she sent an entire river of water his way that turned into ice daggers as they approached the terrified man. He covered his face and cowered in fear but to both his and Zuko's shock, the daggers floated just inches from his body.

Zuko looked at her and saw the conflicting emotions and the turmoil her heart was embroiled in. Soon, the lethal weapons were reduced to a mere splash that puddled around the monster who had killed her mother.

"I always wondered what kind of person could do such a thing. But now that I see you, I think I understand. There's just nothing inside you. Nothing at all. You're pathetic and sad and empty. But as much as I hate you...I just can't do it."

As she walked away, Zuko stepped towards the shaking man. It took every fiber of his being to not burn the man to ashes right then and there. He took in a deep breath, calming his anger, and followed Katara. As they flew on Appa, her anger was now replaced by a heavy sadness. He left the reins, whispering to Appa to take them to Aang and went back to join her in the saddle.

Katara hid her face in her knees and he could see her shoulders tremble ever so slightly. He approached her hesitantly and placed a hand on her shoulder. It broke his heart when she looked up at him with tears streaming down her face. He could tell what she was thinking. He had felt the same way when he had let Appa free in Ba Sing Se. She was disappointed in herself. She was angry at herself. She felt like she had betrayed her mother.

"For what it's worth", he whispered, "I think she would be proud of you."

Katara's face turned into what he imagined she had looked like when she was a child and saw her mother's lifeless body. He wasn't prepared for what she did next. She jumped forward and threw her arms around him, almost throwing him back. Zuko managed to retain his balance as his arms found their way around her.

"I...I…", she struggled to speak between her ever increasing sobs.

"Shh...it's okay", he massaged the back of her head holding tight onto her waist.

"Thank you", she managed to mumble.

She finally pulled back, letting go of him. For unknown reasons, Zuko didn't do the same.

Katara held her breath as she realized once again how close they were. And somehow, she didn't mind it. Both times. Something in her stirred. How was it that she had so much in common with him. It felt nice to be able to speak her thoughts out loud. She reasoned that it was because she didn't care what he thought of her, unlike Sokka and Aang. But she had never expected how soothing it would feel when he understood her. It felt something like peace. Like she was seen...for who she really was...all the ugly parts that hid deep within the good.

She gave him another hug, gently this time and whispered in his ears.

"Thank you, Zuko."

"You never have to thank me, Katara."

Her heart fluttered at his words. And she felt a smile spread across her face as she sat back down. Zuko was relieved to see that this smile, was not sad or painful, but full of relief and warmth. He felt a new emotion spread through his chest as he revelled in the fact that he had been the reason for her smile. Finally.

* * *

"Katara! Are you okay?" Katara heard Aang run down the pier towards her.

" I'm doing fine", she didn't turn back and a small part of her wished she had some more time to be alone.

"Zuko told me what you did. Or what you didn't do, I guess. I'm proud of you."

"I wanted to do it", she frowned still not facing him. "I wanted to take out all my anger at him but, I couldn't. I don't know if it's because I'm too weak to do it or if it's because I'm strong enough not to."

"You did the right thing. Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing", Katara could feel her irritation grow.

She didn't want to hear this right now. But she knew Aang only wanted to support her. He meant well. She sighed and stood up and walked towards him.

"But I didn't forgive him. I'll never forgive him", her voice had a slight bitterness to it.

Then she saw Zuko standing a few steps behind. She smiled and thought back to his words from last night. All of his words. Everything he had said and shared had seemed closer to what she was going through; more than all the words of wisdom any sacred text could offer.

"But I am ready to forgive you." She walked to a nervous Zuko.

Her smile grew wider and she could see his nervousness dissipate. Once again, she jumped into a hug, almost giggling at the way he looked surprised and lost his balance. But he didn't fall, he didn't flinch and he didn't let go. She knew he would support her. In more ways than one.

As she pulled back, Zuko had one of the most innocent and genuine smiles she had seen on him so far. Satisfied, she turned towards Sokka who stood at the end of the pier with Appa. Zuko watched as the siblings embraced each other, comforting each other. He could still feel his skin tingle and his heart felt lighter. In a strange way, it was in this moment that he felt he had truly regained his honor.

* * *

A/N:

Brownie points to anyone who got the tiny Voltron reference I snuck in teehee!


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